im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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