i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
