Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
