they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
