It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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