I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
