The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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