I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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