so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
