My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
