He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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