I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I AM VODKA MAN
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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