do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
