hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she peed on how many people?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
