you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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