we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
