Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
