So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
