im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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