i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
