No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
