I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
