So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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