I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
