why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
