do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
