I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
God, you're like boner-b-gone
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
