Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dick very happy bro
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
