Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
