I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
