Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
