Whod you bang
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
