You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
