Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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