The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
