Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
