So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
