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Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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