is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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