It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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