I'm eating all of the evidence.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
