shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We're too hungover to prance.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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