I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
