Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
