So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
