I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
