Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
