Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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