PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
