so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
