but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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