Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
